“La Vida Loca”

“La Vida Loca,” means living the crazy life in Spanish.  I think I qualify for saying this since my life is insane right now.  I have a track record of overcommitting and this semester has confirmed that.  Too many classes, too many projects at work, and my family is going too many directions for me to keep up with any of it.  Once again, I am thinking about financing a Honda Goldwing and driving off to Mexico and never looking back.  I could run off with the Muse and find a little shack on the west coast and spend my time working on my novel.  The Muse whispers in my ear that everything will be okay and just the two of us can make a new life.  Am I a total flake for feeling this way?  It is reminiscent of a character in Kate Chopin’s story “The Awakening.  Edna Pontellier is a young mother and wife that has a creative streak that demands attention.  She ends up on a self-destructive coarse with a destiny she feels is unavoidable.  This journey ends with her taking her own life, possibly because she felt alone and without an outlet for the passion she felt burning inside.  It is an age-old dilemma, does one act responsibly at the cost of suppressing self expression or should one let his or her proverbial hair down, and just open the throttle of life all the way with no governors?  Maybe it is just mid-life crisis or maybe I am just overwhelmed with school, but it feels like I have had a melt down.  I am trying to collect my thoughts and get back in the driver seat of my life.  I need to apply some leadership and organizational skills to my situation.  I am temporarily forcing the Muse back into her box, but I know she will not stay there.  More tests will come and I will have to fight those battles when I get there.  I wonder if Ricky Martin had enough creative energy to envision the Muse for his song, “Living La Vida Loca.”  The Muse comes in many disguises.