caution-under-constructionAs an upbeat person, I usually enjoy encouraging and empowering others and in most cases, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt when they are in a pinch and try to help them out of a slump. We all have those friends on Facebook, Twitter, and life in general who are constant complainers and whiners. I try to make it a habit to avoid going down that rabbit run because it rarely leads to a productive conversation.

I don’t view this post as whining as much as just a life update. Right now I am doing some introspection and healing. I am not asking for your sympathy or concern, I am going to be fine, but I am tired of helping other people. I suppose I should clarify that last statement. I like helping folks, I enjoy building up a person’s confidence, I want to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem, but I am worn out.

Yeah, people can be jerks, and life is certainly unfair, but true happiness will NEVER be found in our circumstances. It can only be found when we find an internal peace on the inside no matter what hand life has dealt us. It’s been said that misery loves company, but that is not the crowd I want to hangout with. I’m a red-meat eater (easy my vegan friends, it’s just a figurative way of saying I like to own my turf). I want to live life to the fullest and take advantage of all the wonderful opportunities around me, but I need some time to recharge. Stephen Covey talks about sharpening the saw… and that is exactly what I am doing.

I have not produced a motivational video in a couple of months and I don’t know when I will start back up, but they will return, when I am ready. I am not discouraged per-se, but neither am I encouraged. There are a lot of great places to find inspiration and I strongly urge you to pursue some form of optimism. Avoid despair and most importantly, be kind to people. Right now, you may want to give me a wider berth than usual, I may be a little less patient, a little more agitated, and lot less-likely to volunteer to help than my normal chipper self. Don’t take it personal; it’s kind of like me hanging out a bulletin for my life right now that says, “Please be patient with our construction while we re-model. You’re going to love it when it’s done, but observe the CAUTION-STAY BACK warning signs.”

Peace and Love!



Robin Williams, Suicide, Addiction, Depression, and Real Life

Robin Williams Album Cover

Robin Williams Album Cover

I could live happily ever after if I only had:

•  A better spouse/partner
•  Money in the bank
•  Good physical health
•  The big house on the hill
•  Job security
•  Another fix . . .

Ironically, none of these things can give us that elusive inner peace we humans search for in life nor do they appear to have satisfied Robin Williams hunger for something more. What is the magic ingredient to give us that elusive peace of mind we are all searching for? If you think you have never struggled with addiction… you are sadly mistaken. Contrary to popular belief, we all have addictions. Maybe not the chemical, psychological, or mainstream behavioral kind of dependencies, but it seems out of all the different life forms, we humans crave a sense of purpose.

•  Why am I here?
•  What is the meaning of life?
•  Is there a God, and does He have a plan for me?
•  Is this all there is?

Some of the greatest minds throughout history have heatedly debated these questions and still walked away without the answers. I personally believe you will never find empirical evidence for any of them, but that does not mean you cannot find peace of mind.

“I am grieving over the concept that such an incredibly gifted individual like Williams would reach a point in life where the most attractive solution was suicide.”

I am grieving over the concept that such an incredibly gifted individual like Williams would reach a point in life where the most attractive solution was suicide. I have been fortunate that my addictions have been more tangible than depression. I have been sober for over nineteen years, but the demon is never far from my mind. Likely I will go to my grave fighting to keep it at bay, but I am open about it, and there seems to be protection in transparency. I have had people scoff at me and look down at me in pity for not being able to control something as simple as a social drink, but it is a small price to pay for existing as the real me. I run into similar problems with my ADHD. I cannot ignore it, I must be aware of it, and be honest with myself, and others to channel my energy, or it will consume me.

Depression is a different animal. It likes to hide in the shadowy recesses of the mind, and tells destructive lies. It robs our freedom, security, and most importantly hope. Without hope, there seems no reason to go on. It feels like it would be so easy to just not exist. The path of least resistance is an escape hatch, away from the pain of living. However, depression is a liar. There is always hope. Even in the darkest most difficult situation, there is hope. It can be hard to find, but it is there. Just on the other side of the trial.

Don’t give up. You do make a difference. Talk to someone. Be open and you will find answers where you never expected to find them.

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